Monday, May 28, 2012

Memorial Day, Who Cries For The Flower's Lost?

My Crestview home, 15 years ago, when we moved in.

Where I live, in the middle of Austin, Texas...directly North of the University by 5 miles, used to be the edge of the Black land Prairie.  My neighborhood is called Crestview, because of its a gentle rise and the old timers say that they used to be able to see the West Hills before all the trees were planted and it was a beautiful view of what O'Henry named the "Violet Crown" referring to sunset.  That is the original name of the neighborhood, still printed alongside the old survey of my property. 
Times change.
The house is now yellow, I've removed the sidewalk and the driveway, designed and added a pergola, among other costly hard scape features and probably over 100 plants...some are still with us and some didn't make it through the crazy Texas heat and some were lost in the freaky long freezes of 3 days or more.
Here is a little yard art I created a last fall, after the summer of hell.  I did not plant for pleasure last year, only food...this represents all the tagged plants that are no longer in my garden.  I'm still losing mature trees, most notably the American Elm, 3 Red buds a plum and I will be losing my Sycamore out front...soon.
I have loved this tiny lot of land and consider it the only real home I've ever had...home being a place that is, rather than a state of mind as in...with the people you love.  My nuclear family moved all over the place so I have no attachment before here...and now, to the land.  And, we are moving and I will miss this place something awful, but change is coming and its reward is growth.
I will miss this view out my back door...the paths I meander through the various rooms of my garden.

I wonder what will survive the coming droughts and tenants.

I wonder if we will make it back.

  In the route of my life, I've returned to places I've lived for only a short period of time and end up having a strong urge to keep forging forward.  I stayed in this one house for the sole purpose of giving my two daughters a sense of home.  It's been hard to stay, every few years I've had to fight the urge to get the heck out...usually in July and August.  It's the garden, the feeling that I need to be here for the plants and animals that has kept me tethered...for I believe that they love me as much as I do they...and my daughters don't have the same attachment as do I, though I'm told that they will remember it fondly and realize that they grew up surrounded by beauty and blossoms, when they mature.  

I hope so.

I know that they are going out into the world finding their own way and I don't worry so much about them.  They are smart and strong.  I worry about my flowers and trees and if the hummingbirds will still come to see what's blooming and I hope to find my way back to this precious place.  

Memorial day is about remembering people lost, and I do.  But I also remember and cherish the times spent growing and cultivating and loving and laughing in my garden.

I cry for the flowers lost.

Happy Memorial Day and Happy Gardening


Roberta said...

I feel for you and can understand where you're coming from. It's hard to leave behind the things that we've tended and cultivated and invested our time and love in. I'm sure it's given back in abundance. You've likely learned many things from this little lot, gardeners are forever learning. Take what it's given you and hope that what you have given it will make you both stronger and better for having known each other.

Pam/Digging said...

Cheryl, I thought I just read on your FB page that you were staying put and adding onto your house. Did you decide to move after all? Where to?

Linda/patchwork said...

I remember coming to your garden, during the Master Gardeners tour of '09. My daughter-in-law and I were very impressed, with both the flowers and the art. It was obvious that the garden was loved.

Your daughters will probably remember the place they grew up. But, most of all, they'll remember YOU and the way you tended to the garden and the wildlife and THEM.

I have a feeling wherever you land, you'll have a garden and you'll make it lovely.

BTW...where are you headed?

Caroline said...

It's so hard to leave a beloved garden. I hope you'll enjoy new gardening adventures wherever life takes you.

Laura said...

Wait, what? You are moving? Will you keep blogging? I had the pleasure of seeing your garden, and I hope you find someone who will appreciate it and take care of it. I will definitely miss reading your blog.


ConsciousGardener said...

Thank you for all of your wonderful comments. We will leave when my husband finishes his PHd. in 2 years, we don't have a clue as to where we are going. Pam, yes I did post on FB that we were staying, meaning for 2 more years in this house as opposed to moving into another house that is near by. We are going to turn the garage into a cottage apartment and we'll be renting both places out...we do hope to come back to retire...but you never know how life will turn out.